Type of Mind

Now that I’m done with The 2904, Thanksgiving is over, and my neck is healed (I spent about a week doing my best Batman impression with a seriously cranked neck), it’s time to focus on the next non-work project: the 24 Hours of LeMons.

That said, today is the official launch of BIG IN JAPAN’s website - www.TeamBigInJapan.com . It’s just a landing page for now, but rest assured that if you check in regularly you will get to witness the utter insanity we are going to unleash on the poor citizenry of Joliet, Illinois.

www.driveatank.com

Yes that’s right, you get to drive a tank. And for a few extra bucks, they’ll let you crush some cars with it. Really, what else could you ask for?

Let’s be honest, though - they should’ve been more honest with their domain name. And www.DriveAMotherfuckingTank.com is still available, too.

Thanks Flirting with the Crowds

Lucky Cat gum Ball Package Design, via Serious Eats

given four wheels{(speed x grip)} = [fun]

given four wheels{(speed x grip) + curves} =  [incredible, fun]

given four wheels{(speed x grip)^lightness + curves} = [wild, incredible, fun]

given two wheels{(speed x grip)^lightness + curves} = [terrifying, wild, incredible, fun]

Have I mentioned that it’s WAY easier to find a good car to race across the country than it is to find two other guys crazy enough to run the race with you. Well, it’s much, much easier to find the car. That said, it is still a huge pain in the ass to put together a cop car with the potential to run cross country in under 36 hours.

The main reason prep for a police car is so difficult is because of the huge electrical fuck-up left behind when the PD rips out all the police issue goodies. What you end up with is a huge, nonsensical mess of wiring that can’t provide proper voltage.  This becomes an issue when you can’t get clean power off the wiring harness to run your laser jammer, or when your car breaks down outside of Lincoln, Nebraska after the alternator gives up the ghost. But we’ll get to that later.

So after a solid week of prep, you spend the final two days running around like a madman. And when it is finally ready, you have the pleasure of hopping in an untested car and driving from St. Louis to NYC. Awesome. You might even blow a tire 5 miles outside of the city and get stuck in a center-lane median, with traffic whizzing within 6-inches of the car while you try to put on your spare as fast as possible. Yeah, that might happen. Good thing you brought your hydraulic shop lift.

But all of this should be put into perspective. You’re about to race from New York to San Francisco, non-stop, top speed, full volume. Not good enough? Your competitors are a custom built A-Team van with a Chevy 350 and 77-gallon reserve fuel tank and a Lincoln Continental Mark V, complete with full leather interior and dashboard mounted Cartier clock. Oh, and a working 8-Track player.

Speed is easy - speed over long distances is difficult. This becomes clear after you pull your first stint. The best part of any long distance rally is all the frenetic mental maths that end up going on. We tried our best to eliminate this by going for a spendy GPS that could calculate average speed on the fly. Instant case study: my first driving stint, which included 55 minutes spent escaping NYC and the rest of the stint and extreme extra-legal speeds, ended up at something like a 57mph average. Our goal? 82mph average.

More to come.

The shove-off date for The 2904 is fast approaching. Almost all the parts for the Interceptor have arrived - everything except the damn brakes, which were supposed to come on 10/30, but are now scheduled to arrive on 11/3. That will be cutting things a little close, but we’ll still have time to get new tires on, pass Missouri safety inspection, get license plates and hit the road for NYC for the race.

We have our first informal team meeting today: Dean, Nick (the reporter from the RFT) and I are meeting up at Frank’s garage to give the car a once-over and talk about strategy and dirty tricks. It is my personal belief that the key to success will come from a finely-tuned road strategy and complete preparation for anything the road may throw our way. I would say more, but our enemies may be reading this…

Speaking of whom: Max, if you’re reading, am I to understand that the Hellfish are running an A-Team van? Unless you’ve found a way to pack an extra 80 gallons of fuel in that bad boy, I suspect you’ll be having fun at all those fuel stops. Don’t worry, though, the INTERCEPTOR will clear the air ahead of you!

Oh, and photos will be posted tonight.

After endless days of calling just about everyone I know and dangling a tempting, dangerous and insane proposition in front of them, the team for Project INTERCEPTOR has been assembled.

First on the team is Chris “NoCal” LaCon. A UNH student who I met about a million years back when I was broadcasting live Jungle and Hardcore DJ mixes over the interwebs. He just stepped up to a Mustang Cobra and is a man who lives and breathes fast, technical driving.

Next on the roster is Dean Engledow - owner of Iron Horse Taming motorcycle instruction, former police officer, part time insurance agent and full time wild man. Dean is a three-time Iron Butt rally veteran, so he knows a thing or two about highway endurance. We’re also planning on putting his police experience to work to help us pull off a serious cross country time.

The final man in the car is Nick Phillips, who is a fellows reporter for the River Front Times. Nick will be covering the race from the passenger’s seat so that everyone else will get a chance to get a glimpse into the experience. Unfortunately for Nick, the RFT is a little wary about letting him get behind the wheel. Something about not wanting to send one of their reporters out on assignment knowing that they will be committing a crime. Don’t worry, though - we’ll be putting him to work as a spotter.

Then there’s me. Humble narrator. More of me to come.